Test

I thought the test was very hard. I had difficulty with some of the multiple choice questions. I was glad that we got the #4 essay question because I knew the most about that topic. I felt that I did good on the essay tho.

Kids having kids

I was wondering what everyone thought of the 12 year old and the 14 year old having a baby. After finding out that the father was not the 12 year old boy, he said he was devastated. I just don't quite understand how at that age you could really understand fully about what it would be like to have this happen. The parents of the girl even admitted that they allowed them to have sleep overs and everything because she was using birth control. I'm not sure why but I completely disagree with that. It seems wrong to allow kids at that age to do this. Maybe it is because I come from a really strict family. Any thoughts?

Test

So I've been having some trouble on question #1 for the essays. If anyone could give me any information on this question that would be great. Even if you just point me in the right direction so I can look up the answer. Anything would help!

I think the rest of the information for this next test is actually quite interesting!

Thanks

Test 2

I am kind of worried about this test. I think the last one was easier then this one coming up. Does anymore have any ideas about the essay questions?

Power

I think there definitely needs to be shared power in relationships. You can't always depend on one person to decide everything. And if there's children involved it might be better for one of the parents to decide over the other. It's good to have one person always take initiative but you need to share with your spouse or partner.

public intimacy

As we discussed before spring break some couple have trouble with showing affection to their partners and this does not mean a lack of love. When I was growing up my parents had no problem showing eachother affection, kissing everyday before and after work, plus they were constantly touching eachother; holding hand, arms around waist...etc. I had a good neighbor friend and often went to her house. There, her parents were never on the same couch, didn't touch or kiss or show any affection to one another. As a child I assumed this did not mean love and was very sad for my nieghbor because I thought that her parents did not get along. Now that I am older I understand that everyone shows their love and affection in different ways. My friends have relationships and the same goes for them, some of those couples will be "all over eachother", while others feel uncomfortable around people. I know that affection is not always the best way to measure love.

Power in Relationships

It never occurred to me that the person with the most power in the relationship is the one with the least investment in it but it makes total sense. If you are the person who doesn't care you will do whatever you feel like doing because it's of no consequence to you whether the relationship ends or not. If you are the one with the least power that means you are highly invested in making the relationship work so you let te other person get away with things that in other relationships they probably couldn't. It's very sad and makes me wonder how many of the relationships I am in or the relationships I see are like this where one person cares and the other doesn't so the one who doesn't gets rewarded. It's something to look out for that I never considered before.

one with lesser intrests wins

In class on Tuesday we talked about how we a couple is deciding what to do the spouce with the least amount of intrest usually gets to decide what they do for the night. Like if they are deciding where to go eat or what to do for the night the one who doesn't care gets to decide. That reminds me of my relationship. When my boyfriend asked me what I wanted to eat that night and I just said I don't care or it doesn't matter to me. Usually he keeps asking me what I want to eat and after a few I don't cares or something like that I name something that sounds good and that is what we get to eat.

Sexual Intimacy

Before we went to spring break we talked about sexual intimacy. The thing that really was interesting to me was the top five sexual issues for married couples. I see this every time I am around my aunt and uncle. You can tell very much so that my aunt wants affection from my uncle but is very dissatisfied with the love and affection that she does get. She is always fishing for a kiss or a hug or even a few nice words, and we all see it everyday and it just seems to get worse over time. In my family things are not secret unless you want them to be so as sad as it is I know some of my families intimacy problems. I guess that's what you call a close family. Anyway, I know that my aunt stuggles to find any satisfying feelings in her sex life and has an even harder time getting my uncle to talk about their sex life and having him do anything different. We all see everyday that my uncle is very reluctant to be affectionate at all with my aunt and it crushes us more and more everyday to see that she struggles to feel loved and get any of the help she needs at home. I can only hope to learn from my aunt and hope that it never happens to me.

Power

In class the other day when we were talking about the person who has the least amount of intrest has the most power I found it to be really interesting. This is so true when it comes to relationships. When I was in a relationship, I was always the one that wasn't near as invested as my boyfriend was. He would do anything to keep the relationship together. Although it was sweet sometimes he went over the top and it was clear that I had the most power but I didnt really realize it. By knowing this principle I can use it in my future relationship, or at least know that it exists. I think by knowing this principle of least intrest that people can use it in their relationships and know that it really is true and does have power over the other more invested person.

Differences in Power

One of the most interesting things to me that was mentioned in class, was the idea that in a realtionship, the person with the most power is the one that is least invested. This actually makes a lot of sense, because if you think about if you are the one more invested in the relationship, you are willing to do or say anything to stay in the relationship. I've actually seen many examples of relationships that are like this, and at the time I wondered to myself why they stayed with each other when you could totally tell the person who was more invested in it. Its interesting to think back on these relationships now with this idea.

Power

I thought out class talk on the power in realtionships was very interesting. I never would have thought that the person who cares the least really has the most power in that situation. Now that he explained it to us that makes a lot of sense. I never realized there were so many different types of seeing who has the power. We learned about 6 of them and they all are very different. have witnessed many of these types of power control in my life and now I can understand why these influences lead to who has the most power over the other person in that type of situation. I think it helped that he showed us a movie and had us witness it through that as well. That will help us in other situation to tell the difference between them.

Power in marriages

I found the 6 different influences for power to be very interesting and helpful.  After going through each of those in class I can definitely look at different couples or friends in my life and see why a certain person has more power in the relationship.  By knowing these, I will also be able to allow particular people in my life to take power or stand up and take power myself in different situations.

Fighting

Todays lecture made alot of sense when I started to think about the fights I've had with people. I saw how the different kinds of influences were used in the fight to gain the power. Everyone uses the influences sometime in their life when they fight with others. I learned I need to not get right into the fight yelling at the other person. I need to calmly talk to the person right away.

blog ckoe

I thought our last class was very interesting. Seeing the statistics about sexual intimacy and relationships was interesting. I liked how marriage, divorce, and singles were broken down. I was kind of surprised that the singles category was the lowest because in our society it seems as if people are having casual sex all of the time. Also, I couldn't believe the information about the four fifth graders in LPS that were pregnant. That baffled me, especially since I came from a very small mennonite town. However, I think it has shock value no matter what kind of school you attended.

Spring Break

I really dont have anything to say about our class today. My mind is in a blank. But, I am getting really excited about going to Denver for Spring Break. 

Lucky in Marriage

I think I will be lucky in my marriage (whenever that may be). My parents have been together for 20 some years and they are still madly in love and have never had any serious problems. I kind of feel like there is a correlation between happily married parents and divorced parents and how their children will grow up and have relationships. Like for me, I'm not really afraid of a divorce because if my parents are happy I can be happy. But for people who's parents divorce I feel like those children will have a problem loving and trusting someone. Might just be me. But that's what I think.

communication

On Tuesday we talked about communication. After class I started looking at all the ways that my family and I, my friends and I, and my boyfriend and I communicate. I realized that in my family we mostly just say what we feel while with my friends it is a mixture of talking and gestures. And with my boyfriend it is talking with a few gestures mixed in. Mostly, when I am mad, I speak with gestures because it shows how I am really feeling.

Communication

When discussed in class the different types of communication and such it was very interesting to find out that there were so many different ways to communicate and the negative ways. When we got into basic communication principles it talked about the basics and what is key to it. I too agree that you cannot not communicate, because if you don't communicate then what type of relationship are you going to have with your spouse. Things will just keep going unresolved. I very much agree that the message sent by one person is often not what is recieved by the other person. For instance, I was with a friend eating out one night and we were sitting there talking and eating when a couple of guys came in and sat down to eat as well. So, my friend took it upon herself to start looking at them and flirting hoping I think to get them to notice, and when she got one to look at her she just smiled and kept eye contact. In doing, so this one guy just kept staring and doing the same back. Well at the end of our meal it just so happens that we got done at the same time, and as we were walking out they approached us. My friend got so excited and was all ready to start a conversation when, the guy came up and started talking to ME!! I felt so bad!!! If the guy wanted to talk to me he should have been flirting with me, right? I just don't understand guys. It is true that communication failures rest with both people. If one chooses not to communicate with the other or one tells one one thing and they are to tell another, and they don't then all fails. It may turn into a big fight and unresolved issues. The big thing to remember with communication is that it involves Content and Process. The way something is said is more important than what is said. This may very well be the most important thing to remember when focusing on communication, because the way something is said is much more important then what is said, because it could be your body language and facial expressions don't match what you say.

Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication speaks louder than words. When it comes to someones body language and what they have to say, their nonverbals come across louder. I generally pay more attention to what there nonverbals are saying, and get confused when their words are not matching. This can be a very frustrating thing, and have dealt with this any many relationships that dont make sense to me.

Communication

I thought out class discussion on communication was very interesting. I learned a lot more about the way people communicaton. Mainly the difference between girls and guys. Now that i have learned that i think back on certian situations in my life and it really makes a lot of sense. I remember having a problem in high school with cheerleading and i was talking to my mom and dad about it and i remember my dad telling me to go up to the girl and i was have the problem with and tell her whats up! My mom on the other hand did not think that type of action was necessary. This shows how mails think and how they would handle stuff... even though at the same time i did kind of want to take my dads options. I have really enjoyed listening to a lot of the things that we have talked about recently in class. I feel like they are relating to me a lot.

non-verbal communication

I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over 6 months. He is my first boyfriend and I am definitely learning about all aspects of communication in our relationship. I am often the one upset or angry, so most of the time I will use body language and non-verbal communication. I am slowly learning that I need to be verbal with him if I want to get any feelings across. I will sit next to him and not talk for an hour, not talk back to his conversation, and he will STILL not know that I am mad about something. It really drives me crazy and I could relate well with the class discusion. We talked about how the message sent is often not the message recieved and this happens at least once a week with my boyfriend and I. The discusion really made me think about different ways to communicate with him about my anger and it will take away some stress. When I sit and wait for a response or expect him to know why I'm mad and he doesn't, it makes the situation worse because I don't get the reaction that I want. It is also important to remember that guys and girls communicate differently and my boyfriend and I are still learning about eachother's reactions.

communication

Todays topic I believe was accurate. Whenever I talk to my boyfriend about problems I have he always goes straight for the solution. Instead of just listening to me, he always tries to fix my problems which alot of the times can't be fixed. Sometimes I do wish he could learn to just listen to me and try not to one up me on my problem.

Communication

I loved the topic of class today!  I never really thought about how girls and guys communicate differently, but after learning about it in class, I can definitely relate situations in my life to it.  For example, I always go to my dad when I have a problem because I know he will tell me exactly what to do and get straight to the point.  If I were to go to my mom, she would drag the situation on and discuss all the unnecessary aspects of my problem.  I will without doubt keep these communication differences in mind in future conversations.

Communication

I thought it was very interesting when we were discussing communication in class today. I knew about non-verbal communication but I never really thought about it. When my Dad comes back from work, you can clearly tell whether or not he had a bad day. If he did, he won't say very much, and like we said in class he even will walk differently. I also thought it was neat learning about how girls and guys communicate in different ways. Girls really do tend to take the more "emotional" approach and with guys its more problem and solution. Learning about communication is going to really help me with my family interview and it will also help to explain a lot of the interactions that are taking place within the family.

Class topics

I am really enjoying going to class these last couple of weeks.  I thought the mate selection topic was very interesting.  I didn't realize that people play so many games, and it takes a lot of hard work to find the perfect mate.  I really think this class is going to help me in the future when I decide who I want to date!

Eating at the dinner table.

I was looking around on the internet and found an article that I found interesting. It was about positive ways to raise your children. There were suggestions such as (1) being a parent first, before other demanding tasks, (2)setting good examples (3)learn to listen to your children, and others. The one that I thought was very interesting was to make a big deal about eating together as a family. When I was growing up, the only time we ever ate at the table was during Thanksgiving. We didn’t even eat at the table for other holidays, such as Christmas. It told how it not only is a place for socializing and finding out what’s going on in everyone’s life, but to pass on values and behaviors. I never really thought about how important it was because I never did it. I can see how it can be very important though. Does anyone else wonder if it really matters or not? Since I never really ate with my family, I have no idea how it feels to be on the other side of it.

http://www.bu.edu/sed/caec/files/10tips.htm

Selecting a Mate

I thought our class discussion on selecting was very interesting and probably important and eye opening to many in the class. I found talking about engagment the most interesting to me. I always thought it was about getting prepared for marrage and realize now it is not. I guess in a way it is but the main reason behind it is not get to know eachother better on a different level then what you were at. I assumed they knew eachother that well before the got engaged but apparently not. Another aspect of the lecture i found interesting was the part when we talked about the games. I never thought about the 'little' games everyone plays could be destructive to a relationship. The games can have positive outcomes such as getting to eahother better. I feel like I don't usually do the whole playing games. Yet i will admit I do play the "I don't care" game... i never thought of this as a game but now that it was explained to us i understand it now.

Nothing really to do with the topic

So I couldn't really think of anything to write about so I'm going to write about this....

Back in sixth grade (2001-2002) my best friend was kidnapped and murdered. They never caught the guy and they thought that he might have been involved in 3 other murders of 11 year olds. Time has gone on and they still haven't captured him. The other night I was watching America's Most Wanted and they ran her story again except this time it was different. Actress Pauley Perrette from NCIS has become personally involved in the case. Her family lives in a neighboring town and when she heard about the story it hit her hard. She has put up a huge reward and is doing all she can to aid the investigation.....

this is the link for the youtube clip of the show.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDshDS1E8bo

Dating

I think that that lectures in class are getting more and more interesting. I really like that topics and find that I can relate to them as most of my classmates I am assuming. I am looking forward to the talk on marriage. Which I think is today?

Cohabitation

When we learned about cohabitation in the section of dating, it was very intriguing and I found out a lot that I didn't know about. I didn't know there were so many different kinds of cohabitation. I think that now in this century more and more people are typically in the Linus blanket category and the Testing Category. Typically today couples can be so dependent on one another that they would rather be with someone then be alone, because they want the feelings of intimacy, belonging, love, etc. so they will do just about anything to have a relationship even if that means changing themselves or their lives just so they have someone to love. So many people today want a realtionship to either satisfy them emotionally, sexually, financially, etc. they don't realize sometimes how the other person feels or other people involved feelings about the relationship. As for the testing category lots of people are involved in this category today, especially those in their twenties and early thirties. Couples in this cateogry want to live together to see if marriage is right for them, or just right for each other and they can live with the other person and deal with their faults, strengths, weaknessess, etc. One big part of the puzzle is to see if they can see themselves in the others family and deal with all that goes with it. If they can get through the hard times and still be with them in the end, then they can be with them. I think another is they choose those who are most like their mother/father and feel safe and loved. I myself have not cohabitated and don' really plan on it, for one I don't think it is right before marriage and two because my parents don't really like the idea, and they mean a lot to me. I feel that you can spend just as much time together with the person as you would living with them to find out all of this stuff. I plan on making sure they are the person that is not only right for me, but that my family excepts and likes them, because if not then it won't happen.

Dating and Marriage

In class I found the past few lectures that we have had are really interesting. Dating and marriage is something that girls (or at least from what I know) can never learn to much about. I watch the Bachelor and when we started talking about dating, it was the first thing that popped into my mind. Here is a man trying to choose his future wife by dating them and finding out more about them. However the Bachelor does have a very different twist than real life does. Usually girls or guys don't have twenty or more guys or girls trying to get the same husband or wife. But there are so many people that I know who watch the show and it tells me that humans can never learn to much about relationships. In my life right now I'm single and if I do start dating it would most likely be for marriage or something that would last. As I get older, its something that I'm lookin for right now and when the time is right the right someone will be in my life.

Cohabitation

I believe that cohabitation is a very smart idea. It gives you more of a trial bases rather than jumping straight into marriage. I honestly believe that cohabitation can help decrease divorce rates. If you learn that you cant stand the person just cohabitating, then you know that the idea of marriage will never work out. Along with cohabitating, it opens up more communication between people. There is more of an opportunity and you might get a change to discuss things that you may not have even thought of. Cohabitation is a good try out on a relationship.

Dating and Mate selection

I feel these last few chapters on being single and dating and mate selection have been the most interesting so far. They are completely relatable to probably every person in the class. I also watch the Bachelor and it's interesting to see how dating has really evolved in our society. Now things like online dating and shows like the bachelor are not unconventional ways of meeting people. Also, it's interesting the change people go through while dating. I know even just applying it to my own relationship it starts off very casual and then eventually your three years down the road talking about the future.

Dating

I have found the past couple of lectures to be very interesting. Most people in class can relate to these topics. I find the topics about dating and getting married interesting because in a couple of years I will be at an age to get married. We are at a age were most people start to date and try to find their soul mate. Everytime we look for our soul mate, we go through a process of male selection. We have to decide what we like and dislike in a male. Slowly we weed out the good from the bad.

Mate Selection

It is so funny that we are talking about mate selection right now because I am also an avid viewer of The Bachelor.  Everything that was said in class today I related to The Bachelor.  Many of the girls on the show played games with Jason both constructive and destructive.  It is also interesting to see how once there are fewer girls, the games kind of disappear and they start focusing on how they would function as a couple and they become much more intimate.  I am looking forward to learning more about this subject area so I can relate the information to my own life.

Dating

I think that the next few classes will be very interesting. I think that finding your mate can either be complicated or very simple. For some people they click easily and for others it is hard to come out of your shell. Also I think that it will be interesting because my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 and 1/2 years so it will be interesting to see how we fit into things. Another thing is that I watch The Bachelor and I think that the show will fit well into this section. For one thing it's neat to see how the girls change from the first show to the last ones. It shows how they develop around Jason. I think this section and the show fit perfectly together, especially because of how it ended. Maybe now I can understand why Jason did what he did.