ckoe blog 2

I work at a child care center here in Lincoln and after our discussions on attachment and strong families I decided to watch this is some of my kids. It was intersting to me to see how many children jumped up when their parents returned to pick them up and were ready to go compared to those who were actually crying when their parents came to pick they up. Some acted completely unphased and continued to do what they were doing and some ran away from their parents. Not to make any assumptions about those relationships, but I thought that those signs went along with what we've dicussed thus far in class.

Strong Family

In class while we were discussing what it takes to be a strong family I was getting very concerned for my family. When everyone was raising their hands because their mom put notes in their lunch boxes or went to their recitals I felt a little left out. I didn't realize that other people's parents were so much more involved in their lives than mine. Every time that Mr. Hollist would list off something that can create family closeness I couldn't relate to it. However, I still feel that my family is close. We don't hug or kiss and I rarely talk to them unless they need my car because theirs is in the shop or I need money for baking supplies or something like that and out of the six years i have been in show choir my mom haas maybe seen me twice at the most. We don't really have any of those "little things" that show we care. But when I was in a car accident with our only car my dad rode his bike across town to make sure I was okay. When I was having medical emergencies earlier this year my mom went with me to the hospital and just held me while I cried. In class the lecture made it seem like families have to show their feelings all the time even if its just in little ways so that everyone knows they are loved. I disagree. I haven't seen my parents in about two months and we rarely talk but we know that we love each other and that if anything in our lives went wrong we would be there for each other even though I don't send my mom little text messages all the time. I don't think you always have to show your affection. You just have to know that its there and believe that its strong enough to not just dissappear because you live too far away to see each other every night for supper.

Strength in Numbers

This last February, my dad was diagnosed with kidney cancer. My siblings lived throughout the country and all made it back for the surgery. They are my strength, and I was glad to have them here. As bad as it may sound, my siblings and I always expect the worst, so in case the worst does happen, we arent caught off guard. I think this is our way of staying grounded, rather than having our heads in the clouds. The day of the surgery, we were there to support my dad and each other. It was a long day of waiting in the hospital, but thankfully it turned out successful. After the surgery, we found out that they removed my dads whole kidney, and that thankfully, the cancer had not spread anywhere else. So with us all expecting the worst it definatley was a pleasant suprise!

Family Strengths

When we talked in class on Thursday about Family strengths, I wish I would have talked about what I had to say on the subject. My blog focuses on the area of the spiritual aspect of it. When my mom got sick about 9 years ago, we were all very scared, wondering what could be wrong with her and what was causing what she had. It turned out through extensive trips to doctors and emergency rooms that they discovered my mom had seizures on the left side of her brain. It was very scary because her whole nervous system would just shut down and basically to explain it in Lamens terms, her body became like a noodle and she would just slide out of her seat. Her blood pressure was another thing we had to keep an eye on and if it every got to low it was another trip to the ER. Every time she would end up in the emergency room we would wait to see what they could tell us on her condition. At that stage in my life I wasn't really sure if I believed in a higher power or if I even wanted to with all that was going on in my life and the world at the time. Painstakingly I tried to pull myself together for my mom and my family and figure out a way to deal with my mom becoming sick. I found that faith the night we had to take my mom to the ER because she started to get worse then she had before her previous symptoms (before we found out that she had seizures). That night I watched as my mom vomited all night and was pale as a ghost, at this point I was fearing the worst. I didn't know what to expect and for a kid with any sick parent, I feared death. I know that may sound stupid, but unless you were in my shoes or had a similar experience you would too. So, as I sat up at night worrying if she would get better I started to pray to God. I asked him to please help my mom get better and to help the doctors discover what was causing her to do this. I would sit there and pray hoping that she would get better everyday. One surprising thing is at the time I wasn't as close to my mom as I would have liked to have been, but we are very much so now. I just kept praying asking god if he did this for me, then I would become a better christian and know that he did exist and that he is real. After about two days we started to notice improvement in my mom, she wasn't vomiting anymore and her levels were starting to go down. Through the course of a few more days things got drastically better, and I knew that God had answered my prayers. The doctors I considered miracle workers, becasue not only had they figured out what my mom had, they made her life better. Because of this traumatic experience in my life it has brought me and my family closer together and has taught us to respect and love my mom and the things she does for us even more. It also showed me that with God as well, and my family. This is why church and going as much as possible is also very important. Without my mom we would have failed and fallen apart. I became very close with my mom after this and to this day still am. My mom still has seizures but not as bad.Her seizures are now caused through stress, illness, death, etc, which are controlled mostly by medication that she has to be on for the rest of her life. I know though that when this happens I turn to prayer and talk to God.

Strong Family

My older brother and I are both in college.  My brother decided to go to school where we live and live at home.  It wasn't until I decided to go away to college that my family was faced with the challenges of being separated. One thing we do to stay in touch is ichat each other. I always look forward to this because I can see my whole family on the screen while talking to them all face to face.  This has kept us close because, to us, this is just like spending time together.  We talk about everything that is going on in our lives so I still feel very connected to them.  Another thing we are able to do through ichat, although this may sound weird, is we can kiss the screen when we are done talking.  This is a way of showing affection in a way you would not be able to with a telephone.  I honestly don't think I would talk to my family as much without this, so I am very grateful that we are able to do this with the increase of technology.

Family Strength

Once I moved up to Lincoln for school my sisters and I decided we needed to stay involved in eachothers lives. Every week we try and get together to go out to eat or make dinner at one of my sisters houses. We all live in lincoln now so this makes it easy to get together. This helps make our family stronger in the sense that we are spending time together. Even though our parents are not there with us it still adds a sense of comfort for all of knowing we are still just as close as we use to be. This helps me to know that my family is still behind me and we are still a strong family even though we are all moved out of the home.

Fussy Cousin

I have a little cousin who just recently turned one. He can walk, but can only say a few words. Over Christmas I was really excited to see him and play with him, but was disappointed when he would only stay close to those who he knew well. This displays the attachement bond and he always wanted to be with a primary caregiver. Once in the arms of his grandpa, grandma, or mother, he would loosen up and allow me to touch him, but not hold him. This also shows separation distress because he would cry or fuss if me or another unfamiliar person tried to pick him up. I'm hoping next year he'll be a better sport and get to know me!

Inapropriate touching?

Last night while watching George Lopez, I noticed something that could be considered by some inapropriate touching but at the same time not considered that. The mom (in her 30s or 40s) on the show had just found out that she had a false positive on her pregnancy test and was sitting in the kitchen. Her father( in his 60s or 70s) walked in, noticed that she was upset and asked her what used to help when she was upset. She said "Dad, I don't think the tickle monster will help right now". The dad tickled her anyways for maybe two seconds then stopped. He tickled her again for an even shorter amount of time and then they pulled each other in for a hug.

I dont know how some people might see this but I thought it was a great show of affection and not inapropriate at all.

My family has always been really close. We always go on vacations together and have "movie nights." The thing about being so close to each other is that when something bad happens, we really support each other. My grandpa died this past May and during that time of suffering we used our spiritual beliefs and each others support to get through it. I think having good communication is one of the most important aspects of a strong family. Now I know that if I'm having any problems in my life I can always come to my family for support and love.

To me a strong family is one that loves and cares about one another. They want the best for the other people, even if it means making sacrifices for them. In class when we talked about appropriate behavior towards family memebers, it made me realize how when I was younger I used to hug and kiss my family many times, but now I rarely do that. I watched a home video when I was three last weekend where in it I kissed and hugged my brother but now I wouldn't think of doing that.

Stronger Families

I thought today's lecture was very interesting.  I really liked learning how to become a stronger family.  I agree that it is very important to spend time together.  I thought every point was very important.  I really think that my family jokes around a lot.  I bet a lot of other families wouldn't like this, but everyone in my families shows affection this way.  My family isn't the type to hug and kiss each other.  This is fine by me though.  I guess I am just curious to see how many other families use jokes as their main sign of affection.

I thought that today's class was very interesting. But I still have a few questions. From class I take it the more time you spend with the family the better. But what about the Single Families? It may not be fair to stick your kid in daycare every day. But if you do spend most of your time with your child which is what I took away from this class today, Then where is the money coming in. Welfare can only go so far and most people don't want to take handouts. I was raised up in a Single house hold and I know it's not fun all the time. And yes, you can't always spend the amount of time you want with your parent. But I still think we have a good relationship. 

This week I started a practicum at one of the Elementary schools through LPS. Now I'm not sure if this is correct, and if it's not someone please let me know, but I believe that through UNL working with LPS this becomes a mesosystem. It's two schools working together and UNL is sending me, a student, to observe other students and report back. In any case, each school is a microsystem.

Ok so if any of you have watched the OC then you will know what I am talking about. If you haven't I'm sorry. The Cohens and Ryan Atwood are a type of meso-system. They fall in this type of system because they are two different groups coming together. The Cohens are rich and live in a nice neighborhood while Ryan is poor and lives in a horrible neighborhood. The 2 micro-systems come together and form one meso-system.